You Know Your Kashmiri When....

1. Chai must be drank atleast 4 times a day, in the morning, for lunch, at 4, and when you come back from work.
2. Weddings last for atleast a week.
3. All the woman at your parties try to see who can talk the loudest.
4. You can hear their laughter from the basement.
5. Your brother owns somekind of expensive video game player.
6. Your going to be a doctor.
7. You drink nun-chai and eat kulchas.
8. You think you can sing, but you really cant.
9. Big noses run in your DNA, and if somehow you end up with a small one- everyone thinks your an Indian.
10. You know the true meaning of 'remote country'
11. You are the most politically aware kid in your school.
12. If you happen to pass all the uncles, you always hear them debating about Kashmiri politics.
13. You can pronounce tzamun.
14. Your knees have ached after hours of sitting around a thasanaari eating food.
15. You've spied on the wazaa's at your wedding before.
16. Everyone is your aunty and everyone is you uncle.
17. You do all you bangle shopping in Ghenkhan.
18. Your mom wont let you go to Ghenkhan without security.
19. Numeshi is the closest thing to a mall.
20. You have rode a crazy horse in Pahelgam or Gulmarg.
21. You have been to Oberoi Palace for dinner.
22. You have been to Broadway for lunch.
23. You cousin is getting married this summer, so you have to spend all year planning your outfit.
24. Wannabe Kashmiri's are not cool.
25. You hear bomb blasts outisde, and you panic. Your aunty reassures that they wont blast here and goes along with her daily chores. For some reason now, your more scared.
26. You have been through a crackdown before.
28. No meal is a meal without rice.
29. No meal is a meail without meat.
30. Going out to dinner means going to your local Iraqi/Irani/Afghan kabob rester aunt.
31. You miss those rester aunts when you go to Kashmri.
32. Your obsessed with bollywood.
33. You go to sleep while the dogs howl to the moon.
34. When all the Kashmiri woman talk, no one can hear what anyone else is saying.
35. Your mom walked to Presentation Convent together with [insert friends name here]'s mom when they were kids.
36. You find it hilarious when your watch Kashmiri soap operas and they are trying to act romantic.
37. Sweety sweety drai duty is you theme song.
38. Your uncivilized.
39. Punctuality is for white people.
40. Your dad told you that you were the princess of Kashmir when you were a kid.
41. You grew up believing him.
42. You know all about the India-Pakistan separation.
43. Your close friends with Kashmiri Political Figures.
44. Your mom doesn't let your dad go into politics.
45. People respond with "wheres that?" when you tell them where your from.
46. Your confused about which bubble you should fill in for "ethnicity" Asian or Middle Eastern?
47. You made a Kashmir stall at your schools international night.
48. Your house if filled with Kashmiri rugs and furniture.
49. Kashmiri is the perfect code language in public places becuase NOBODy knows it.
50. You've grown up extremely proud of you heritage.
51. Your stylish.
52. You were born to text.
53. Your pissed becuase your french manicure is stained yellow from the wazwaan food.
54. When you dont own any naked baby photos, but have many photos of you in a traditional kashmiri dress taken in Nishad Bagh.
55. You eat softies at Zero Bridge.
56. Your dad ate softies at Zero Bridge in college.
57. Your whole family knows the guy who owns the Softy shop at zero bridge.
58. When you have rode a shikara on dal lake, and then your driver got into a fight with the guys cuz he was asking for 50 more rupees.
59. When you wake up on saturday mornings becuase your mom is calling kashmir and even the neighbors can hear what she's talking about.
60. You know many kashmiri phrases such as- KholAKhar- Paya Thrat- Kya Gowm- Balai Lagey
61. When your somehow related to that other Kashmiri.
62. You wear a sweater over your salwaar kameez.
63. When kashmir fights consist of going "ey ey ey"
64. When you get mad at seeing those jammu girls dancing to our kashmiri songs.
65. When you can dance.
66. When your house if filled iwth Samavars.
67. You wonder what a samavar is doing at your iranian/russian friends house.
68. When you watch silly videos on youtube like Kashmiri Comedy - Color TV Causes Jealousy.
69. You enjoy watching kashmiri neighbors chucking their color TV's across the yard.
70. People laugh when you speak kashmiri.
71. You wonder why.
72. You prefer AlJazeera rather than CNN.
73. You prefer CNN rather than FOX.
74. You click 'add to dictionary' when spell check cant recognize your name.
75. You do this to every computer you lay your hands on.